My biggest enemy

Phew, sorry my sabatical took so long... but sometimes life comes at ya fast! My hubby came home from China last night and it's a little weird here now. I expected it'd be crazy love & wild tenderness... but so far it's a little awkward. He's zombied and tired, and I just want to tell him EVERYTHING! I tackled some HUGE projects while he was away. Painted our bathroom cabinets, gutted the garage and organized it, hung shelves and hooks to get crap off the floor... big stuff. And, now I've fallen victim to my biggest enemy... my own expectations. That's always when I get crushed the easiest, when I expect something to happen and then it doesn't. Nobody's fault but my own really. He didn't go on and on about my progress (& effort) the way I hoped he would. But, he had been on a plane for 14 hours... hmm... that might have been it.

You too might have the same void that I experience when I expect something to happen, and it doesn't. We can translate it as a lack of emotion, or a lack of love. If he 'loved' me more, he would have 'known' to have dinner ready when I got home because he should have 'known' that I'd had a hard day. So when dinner isn't ready? I assume he must love me a little less. The truth? He's preoccupied with other stuff and probably doesn't even realize it's dinner time! Men are distracted. Women are focused. (general observation!) Someone once told me to explain things to my hubby the way I would explain it to my 16 year old nephew. Wow... that cleared some things up for me!

Overall what I learned by being 13 hours away from him for 12 days, is that 'love' is not dependent on him doing something or forgetting to do something. Love is a deeply-seeded, inner bond, a connection on a microscopic level that forms us into one creation with one purpose. So, my goal is to stress less about those expectations, and dwell more on today and the beauty of it.