compulsive behavior

I'm reading a book for the first time that I've owned for probably 8 years. It's by Geneen Roth entitled "Feeding The Hungry Heart" I also have "When You Eat at The Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair." Geneen focuses on compulsive behavior specifically compulsive eating. I'm reluctantly admitting, that I have a compulsive personality. (let's see if I can fit the word compulsive in here a few more times, shall we?)

See, I'm extreme. Love hard, hate hard. Volunteer, even with I don't want to. Deny what's obvious to convince myself that fantasy might really be real. And recently, I've struggled with being compulsively blue. And frankly, I'm sick of it. So, I'm trying my darndest (with the aid of some diehard friends!) to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get over it! That, and I've switched from Lexapro to Wellbutrin! :) Anyway, if you have never struggled with the evil games your mind will play with you... thank the Almighty Maker right now! And, here's a one paragraph explaination that Geneen writes to explain it perfectly...

"If who you are is wrong, then what you want is also wrong. If what you want is wrong, you must constantly be on guard against yourself, depriving yourself, never giving yourself what you want because that's also wrong; you can't be trusted. The fear is that if you allowed yourself to be yourself, you would devour the whole world. And on an emotional level, if you let yourself be yourself, no one would love you."

Tomorrow is in fact another day, and despite what my head tells me I want to do (pout all day), I'm going to get up and get moving, and have a good day. That's the type of soul that I have. Compulsively optimistic... that's my goal.