Guilty skeletons!

So, it's been awhile (again!) and I'm happy to report that life here has taken a turn for the better. (could be the extra meds!) But, harmony has returned to our vocabulary.

I... had a little talk with Jesus about some deep-seated issues in my life which my therapist friend Tom (love him!!) labeled as 'guilt'. Here's a sort of hard to follow analogy that weight & self esteem are the "tail of the dog". You don't approach a dog from the back, you approach from the front (the problem) and once you solve that, then the symptoms (the tail) wag in response involuntarily. So, let's not fix the symptom (weight issues) let's fix the problems (the guilt?). Hmmm.... what am I feeling guilty about?

Well geez, where does one start!?!?! My 20's? There's a whole decade of destruction I'd just as soon forget! Funny thing about our brains... they just DON"T LET US FORGET!!! So, I'm contemplating dealing. It's a dangerous and scary thought to look inward at the deep dark corners of old dusty closets where all the guilt skeletons are stored. Locked away in hopes of somehow vanishing on their own. Darn. They're still there!!!

Tom said that guilt is a spiritual issue. Which I didn't follow. But, he explained that guilt is only healed by forgiveness. A mysterious action that we mere humans are never fully going to understand. Or think ourselves worthy of. But you know what, I think it's at least it's worth asking for, and believing in... because the alternative is too heavy to carry anymore all by myself.