The profoundness of life

I'm sure by the title, you'll be expecting great wisdom to follow... maybe, maybe not. Tonight, a familiy that has become dear to me will come into my home for only the second time. The first, it was for maternity pictures. A beautiful round belly nurturing an unhealthy baby girl. Tonight, they will come to view the montage full of painstakingly retouched pictures of the daughter they didn't get to take home from the hospital. Her name is Abby Danielle, born to Heaven on November 1. She was beautiful and small, profoundly touched my life.

I'm sure you've heard a pregant woman say it when asked the question, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" "It doesn't really matter, as long as it's healthy." What obsurdity. Undoubtedly, Abby taught me that love has nothing to do with healthy, but that love has to do with everything.

She never took a breath. She won't spit out peas and she won't learn to crawl. Her mom doesn't know the sound of her cry or what her baby babble would have sounded like. Yet, I believe that God creates each of us for a purpose. And I believe that Abby's reach is wide, and her impact on the world will still be powerful. That's the profoundness of life.

Load... unload...

At the top of the list of things I hate to do... load the dishwasher. Even higher on the list... unload the dishwasher. Standing there last night,unloading the dishwasher, this entire blog conversation happened between my sane self, and almost insane one.

Is this all there is left? Load the dishwasher... unload. Load the washing machine... unload. Load the trash can... unload. Load the car... unload. Millions of women stand at the kitchen sink staring out the window asking themselves the same question... Where'd I go?

And, in vain attempt to regain the feeling of independence, freedom, and youth... sometimes we indulge ourselves in things that we hope will make us feel all those things again. Dirty chat online? Expensive coffee? Color our hair? Lunch with a married coworker? Flirt with the dads at daycare? Drive east until we run out of gas? It's about that time that we realize the sink water has gotten cold and the buzzer on the dryer goes off. Unload.

Isn't there a bag or something?

Standing calf deep in the ocean it's hard to keep your balance. Waves push you around and pull you in directions you didn't intend to go. Ah yes, much like life. (saw that metaphor coming, didn't you!!)

Having fun yet? Ok... here's another one for ya... If you close your eyes, I know you'll be able to smell this: the undeniable smell that your vaccum cleaner bag is full. It's kinda that burning dust stintch that makes you feel like you're making a bigger mess than the act of vaccumming is cleaning up.

Clearly, my brain thinks in metaphors. And, it generally spins aimlessly on the things I wish God had thought to add to the human creation if he'd put in a little overtime on the 7th day. Maybe just until lunch?

Surely my entire existance on this spinning spiral of earth would be a little bit better off if there were just a secret compartment to open and change the bag or something! Ah, the relief to know that when I start to have that burnt dust smell,I could just pop in a new-crisp-flat-unused-innocent bag that doesn't even yet know that it was created just for the purpose of collecting my dust.

Seriously... just until lunch?! Do I have to think of everything?

My favorite things

chocolate covered pretzels
coloring
autumn
baby lotion
love songs
old friends
chistmas trees
soft pillows
vanilla candles
sandy beaches
rum drinks
laughing
black cashmere sweaters
structure boxers
hot showers
hockey
homemade cookies
vaccumed carpet
pork chops & scalloped potatoes
reisling
tivo
cold mornings
starry nights
smiling babies
barqs rootbeer
strawberry twislers
swinging
carmel coffee
fog
stained glass windows
smooth wood
screen doors
porch swings
ponytails
eyelash kisses
email
warm towels
ocean waves
sunset bounce
smores
feeding ducks
cooking
flirting
cold grass
fat puppies
candy bars
afternoon naps
wet hair
unbelievable sex